Never and ever a replacement.

Was thinking the whole night. I wonder what you guys said is true or not, am I just get you as replacement ? But I've to admit that I never forget about her. I knew she's gone and never came back. But I know she is the one I love the most but she become a history already. And I know who I want the most. I never treat you as replacement since I realize I had feelings towards to you. I admit that you got a lots of things same like her but you are still you. I understand that nobody gonna believe that you not a replacement for me, but me myself known well what I'm doing. There's no replacement occurs in my life. 

Why ? Just wonder why ?

Is quite a bad night for me and you too. I just received your text and said you felt so down. I wonder what's happening but you never tell me. Trying to cheer you up but I failed. Tell me what else should I do to make you happy ? You said you wanna had some Vodka, I wanted to stop but I know I have no right to stopping you for doing anything. You asked me what should mixed with Vodka so make it taste smoothly. I told is just some kind of small problem but until I accidentally click on your Twitter and I finally understand what's going on. I know is hard for you to put down but I hope you can put it down still. But I really heart pain to see you suffering. I know you're a tough gal but why this time you can't be tough enough to face the fact ? I know I'm not a good person and I never hope that you will accept me. I just hope that you willing to share all your unhappy stuff with me. That's enough for me already. How I wish I can share your sadness and make you happy all the time. 

First time felt so scare.

After whole day suffering, finally I went to check up. The doctor said its heart attack symptoms with 80 percents sure but still need do body scanning tomorrow. After knowing this problem, I felt that I never really love my body before. I spoiled it by myself. I smoke I taking alcohol and many bad habits. Finally, I started regret for all I did but is too late. At first I was not scared, but more I think of effect of heart attack more I scared of heart attack. What I'm doing now is telling myself, Just face the fact, MAX !! that's your body, stupid !! Mood swing the whole night.. Trying to find someone talk to but nobody is free :( Well.. might as well I go sleep and face the fact tomorrow :( Dear Jesus, will you bless me tomorrow ? I really hope you do :(

Should or should't

After few months, I understand that I really like you so much. I thought I'm just kidding. But now I very sure I like you so much. I realize that I care you like more than just a friend, what the hell ? I pay attention everything about you ? Holy.. I never thought I will do such thing, this is the very first time in my life. I always told myself long distance relationship not gonna works out but after I met you I realize long distance relationship more sweet than a couple which is everyday met with each other. I put a trust in long distance relationship, and no matter how I will still waiting for you. Many of friends said I'm stupid because I'm waiting for a gal which is thousand miles far with me. But I don't think so, you're the gal that let me fall from the first sight. Also a gal that so polite and understanding. But I know you only treat me as a friend, a very closed friend. I never expect too much. Actually, should or should't tel you that I like you ? Seriously, I scared after I let you know and you will keep a distance with me and we no more a close friend. Friend of mine support I should let you know about it, but my answer will still no. I choose not to tell you all this because I would rather stay close friend relationship like we have now. At least I still can care more about you. No matter when you need me, I will be there for you. You always in my heart :)

Rumors ? Gossip ? Attitude ?

After so long I busy with my things and now I'm finally free to continues with my blogs :) Many things happens around me, and so far there's nothing related to me and I wish that's not my problem too. Too much concern surely caused a lots of problem. I rather sit back and mind my own business. Recently I've seen a lots of people changing. No matter just friend, close friend or people I known. All just pop and turn into another person. I just wondering what thing can let them change so soon. The thing that make me disappointed are those which I treat them as friend but they treat me as several. When they need help I'd never reject and somehow go and help up. The thing I curios, a human being can easily changes because of some rumors. I totally speechless with those human being. I mean, friend should trust each other but why wanna create so much problem ? There's a girl ever said this to my friend, I've friend only but definitely  no good friend in my life. Me myself doesn't really agree what she said but I don't bother about it :) How I wish this world always peace. 

Princess Sick Again..

Princess fall sick again today, she's having fever up to 38.7'c but she still on train to see doctor. She scared that her ears caused the fever so she go see doc at uni.  Kinda worry about her but unfortunately I cant be there for her. Take care Tiny !! Her body getting weak and weak. Wondering how she gonna stand for winter season. I wish time passed very fast so that I can go and take good care of her :( Fever, cough and sore throat. Everything comes to her. Pray for you Tiny, wish you get well soon :)

Happy Birthday Sylvia !!

Tonight wasn't a great night for me. Kinda tired. Celebrating Sylvia's birthday tonight. Had fun with my gals. Talk a lots nonsense stuff and thing back the time when we all work together. So nice :) What a happy night actually. Happy Birthday Via !!

Why ?

Sometimes I really not understand why my friends always betray me ? I treat you guys like best buddy but why you guys again and again hurting me ? Do I look like dumbass so you guys like bully ? I really speechless on you guy's attitude. No worries, I won't revenge or find any trouble. That's only kid doing that. I just let it be, but I hope you guys grown up can ? No ones gonna help you grown up if yourself always put the blame on others. Seriously, I don't know who I tell anymore. I can't trust anyone right now. I choose to trust you only. I rather to share all my unhappy to you. I know I kinda lo so but I don't what else should I do :( But anyway, thanks for be my listener Tiny. 

As usual.

Well.. as usual like what I say, I habit to tell you whatever I do in one day :) Actually I'm just wanna taking chances to get closer with you everyday. Today actually was my bad day. Had my fever and nose blocked. Sick of it. Whole body very tired and very weak. Went to see doctor but doctor just gave me some general advice and gave me some antibiotics. I hat it so much but I have to eat it just to recover my sickness. Today you went to attend 3hours class and you told me that you almost fall asleep, that's funny :) but you still sick of being one ear listening. Hope you recover soon, Tiny. Just take your time let the pressure goes done ya :)